David Schnarch
Dr. David Schnarch

New ideas,
important thoughts
and assorted musings



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Forum Posting and Finding Brains


Posting in our forums

Given the drivel  common to community web sites, I had a very interesting interaction with a community member the other day. She loved reading other members' posts and found them very helpful. So much so, in fact, she was a little intimidated to post about her own difficult life situation. She didn't see herself as self-confronting, self-validated, or sophisticated as other posting members seemed to be.

This is a "high quality problem," and as problems go this is a good one to have. Crucible4Points.com offers a unique forum experience because of the thought, energy, and forthrightfulness members invest in their posts. What I like is the down-to-earth speak-from-the-best-in-us quality of people's posts, because it provides the right context for people like this member who was afraid to post because, in her words, she "wasn't at the same level as these other people."

Posting in our forums is an act of self-differentiation.
It is self-validated intimacy: confronting yourself,  "putting yourself out there" in front of other people, and validating yourself in the process.

So many things in life and relationships are (difficult) opportunities to become more differentiated. They all involve the Fourth Point of Balance: tolerating discomfort for growth.  There's no reason that the forums on this web site should be any different.

We'd love your comments about your life, what's happening in your relationship, or where you are in your personal differentiation. Share your difficulties, your successes, your questions and your answers. (You must be a member to post.)

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Finding your Brains

Crucible Brain that is. Where do you find links to Crucible Brains you purchase? Actually you don't find them; the web site is smart enough that they find you!

New Members and Non-Members: After you make your purchase, log off the web site and log back in using the username and temporary password information in the purchase confirmation email. Go to your personal page and change your username and password and fill in your user information, which will create your profile page. Your profile page is like your online body on our site. If you don't have a  profile page, our system has nothing to attach your brain to. Once you have created your  profile page you are an existing member and should do as follows. You do not need to log onto our system again. :

Existing Members-Log in using the same user account (and associated profile page) you used when you made your purchase.

Your new access links will automatically appear in two places:
   1. On the main (horizontal) menu under "Crucible Brains"
   2.  On the home page, in the lower middle panel entitled "Relationship Resources"

Make sure you don't have multiple user accounts on our site.