Do You Have A Sexless Relationship?
The total score for your answers are shown below. Compare with the score ranges for each category. These are only approximate groupings to help you see where things stand. If your score is on the border between two score groups, consider them both applicable to your situation.
YOUR TOTAL SCORE IS: unavailable
11-21 points: Sex is dead. Unless you are happy with your life as it is, you need to put serious time and effort into jump-starting the intimate side of your relationship. It is possible to revive your sexual connection, but you need to do something to "shock" it back to life again. This will take ongoing effort and collaboration with your partner, but take it upon yourself to get things restarted. The rewards are often well worth your time and energy. Couples who gave up on their sexual relationship long ago are able to breathe new life into it. Hugging till relaxed and eye-gazing out of bed (described in the accompanying Six Tips for Creating a more Passionate Relationship) would be good places to start. Whatever you do, do it from the best in you, and reach out to the best in your partner.
22-32 points: Sex is comatose and in danger of dying. Sex and intimacy in your relationship are still alive, but just barely. You need to take action before they die altogether. The upside is that sex can often be better than ever. As you get older, you and your partner are capable to deeper intimacy and more erotic sex. Eye-gazing in bed (Heads on pillows, outlined in the "Six Tips" section) are one way to put this into gear. You and your partner probably are not real relaxed when you have sex, so some Hugging till relaxed might really help.
33-39 points: Sex is asleep and needs a wake-up call. You and your partner are still having sex, but it is often superficial and perfunctory. Now is the time to bring your sex vibrantly alive. If things stay as they are, you might continue to have sex-but you may not care. Rather than buying new lingerie or watching sex films together, try changing your typical sexual routine (discussed more in "Six Tips") by revealing a previously hidden sexual side of yourself. Do something that takes some courage and earns your own respect. Amaze yourself, and you could end up with amazing sex!
40-47 points: Sex is alive and well. A few little things done to enhance things further often bring large rewards. Focus on deepening your emotional connection with your partner while you are making love. Eyes-open sex can make a difference, especially if you take it all the way to having eyes-open orgasms. (See "Six Tips" section.) When that happens, you will not be yawning through another ho-hum orgasm on your way to sleep!
48-55 points: You have a robust erotic and passionate sexual relationship. Congratulations, although you probably do not need any pats on the back from us. Your relationship, itself, is the best reinforcement for keeping it in high gear. But do not get complacent and do not take things for granted. You need to keep growing to keep sex and intimacy alive in long-term relationships. Take your pick from any one of our "Six Tips" and use it to deepen your connection with your partner.
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