Maybe It’s Love–But Is It Therapy?

A presentation for mental health professionals by Dr. David Schnarch

Being a therapist involves more than good technique. The person of the therapist determines the most fundamental aspects of clinical practice & therapist-client relationship. Biases in conventional practice become invisible. These includes who defines the problem in treatment, who should be treated, and what is an easy case? This also broadly impacts conventional practice: A common assumption is that people with emotional problems did not receive enough love and support from their families. If they could get more empathy and validation, they would become more solid adults–or so many couples and therapists think. Differentiation-based therapy provides an alternative view: Craving for love and support reflects an existing emotional fusion, rather than an attachment deficit or failure to connect. Many common clinical techniques interfere with differentiation. Problems with strategies based on “safety and security” and “empathy” are discussed. Recorded at Menninger Foundation 1993 Patient-Therapist Relationship Conference.